Total Drama Porn Story: You Dont Know About My Princess – Chapter 1

This
is like, the longest one-shot Ive ever done. For real.

***

It
had been a year after TDI, and Courtney couldnt believe this was
happening. Her current boyfriend, Derek, was now sitting across the
room from her ex-boyfriend, Duncan. They were both watching each
other with steely eyes.

How
had Duncan got here, she would never know, considering he lived in a
whole different part of Canada. That was the whole reason they had
broke up before, due to long distance. And now, Duncan, who had
finally moved out of his parents house, gotten an apartment in
Courtney town, and looked her up, was here, sitting in living room.

The
worst part- Derek had been at her house then, sitting on the couch.
And as soon as they saw each other, they looked deadly.

Who
are you? hissed Duncan.

Derek
rolled his eyes. I should be asking you the same, weirdo who just
let himself in.

It
was unlocked. He said.

Uh,
no it wasnt.

Well,
I made it unlocked. He grunted. Wheres Courtney?

Derek
raised a brow. Why do you need to know, stupid ass?

Shes
my girl.

Uh,
no shes not. Shes mine.

And
then Courtney walked into the room. And all hell broke loose.

And
now here they were, in her living room, with the two shooting daggers
at each other.

Courtney
liked Derek. He was successful, had good grades, and had thirteen
lawyers. Thirteen! That was a turn on.

Courtney
had loved Duncan before, but he hadnt called for a whole year. She
had to move on. Her parents had told her he wasnt doing her good
anyway- they were the ones who recommended she go out with Derek.

Out
of nowhere, a camera crew burst in the room. The two ex-campers
gasped when they saw the devil himself walk in- Chris. Wearing a
smirk, he rubbed his hands together. Duncan! Courtney! Looking
to Derek, he raised a brow. Guy I dont know! Nice to see you
all!

Courtney
scowled. What are you doing here?

The
door was unlocked, and we decided to see what you two lovebirds were
up to. He smiled devilishly into the camera. And we are
going to have you on a new show! They both scowled at him, and he
held up a hand. Just one episode, no camp involved.

Derek
grimaced. The door wasnt unlocked.

Yes
it was.

Uh,
no, it wasnt.

Well,
we made it unlocked. Chris sighed. Courtney, is this smart ass
your new boyfriend?

Courtney
nodded, looking to her new man. Derek. Duncan growled, and
Chris smirked.

I
see some old feelings havent died yet. Just
as I suspected. Which
is why we want you to go on the show, TDI Couples: Makeup or
Breakup- the Continuation of TDI love! He nodded, loving the idea.
You guys have to answer questions about Courtney, getting points,
and then, at the end, Courtney picks her man!

Courtney
shook her head. No! Im not having men fight over me!

Chris
stared at her. Okay, any other woman who heard you say that might
think you were high. You dont wanna do it? Maybe
shell accept if I throw in a mud pit.

No!
She sighed.

Too
bad. He said. We have you under contract. And its lawyer
proof! He pointed to the old TDI contract, were the fine print was
smaller than the tip of fingernail. And Courtneys signature was at
the bottom.

Ugh!
Courtney screamed, turning to the two boys in the room. They both
smiled at her, and then grimaced at each other.

Looks
like its war. Duncan growled.

Its
already over. Hissed Derek.

Courtney
sighed. This is stupid!

***

Courtney
sat in between two curtains, with Duncan and Derek on either side of
the curtains. She wondered exactly what questions would be asked
about her. She waved Chris over, looking out at the many cameras
and the huge audience. Will this involve any personal information?
Like really personal?

Chris
shook his head. Nope. We only ask questions about like whats
your favorite this, your favorite that. He grimaced. I asked if
we could dig up some dirt on you, but the producers said no.

Courtney
scowled at him, getting back in her place on the high stool.

Derek
walked away from his side of the curtain, going around the back and
heading over to where Duncan was sitting. He stood in front of the
pierced teen, grinning widely.

Duncan
grimaced. What do you want? He wasnt in the mood to hear
about how much this guy loved Courtney- because Duncan knew he loved
her more.

Derek
was one of those guys that parents loved because they were just
adorable, and
they would always have enough money to support their child. In other
words- the type of guy Duncan usually beat the crap out of.

Well,
I just wanted to tell you that if youre after her money, I could
give it to you. Derek smiled wickedly. I know how you juvenile
types are, and Im telling you now- if you forfeited the game now,
or even just threw the whole challenge, it wouldnt take me two
seconds to go into Daddys big bank and steal a few thousand.
Trust me, Ive done it before. Derek watched Duncan happily.
Sound like a deal?

Duncan
eyed him, and he felt so angry all of a sudden. He didnt even like
her? No, it doesnt. You can keep Courtneys money where it
needs to be- were going to be fighting over her, and Im going to
win.

Derek
scowled, and sighed. Have it your way. I guess Ill just have to
win the old fashioned way. He smirked and walked back to his seat.

Chris
watched the three kids and shouted, Makeup! Ten people came up
and powdered his face. Once they were done, Chris smiled. Okay,
ready.

Someone
shouted, On the air in 3, 2-

Some
theme music began playing, while Chris began talking. Hello, and
welcome to the new show TDI Couples: Makeup or Breakup- the
Continuation of TDI love! Many people cheered, holding up pictures
of Duncan and Courtney together, and then some with an x on either
ones face. The delinquent and C.I.T. both felt their faces go red.
It had been a year, hadnt it? Were they really still that popular?

Chris
looked into the audience. Duncan and Courtney are having some
problems, and wed like to hear your comments on it! People
screamed and whooped, holding up their hands, and stomping their
feet.

A
light scanned the audience, stopping on a red headed girl. She jumped
up giddily and ran towards the stage. Chris held up the mike to her,
smirking. And whats your name, little boy?

She
scoffed, but smiled at the camera. My name is Tabitha, and I love
Duncan and Courtney! She waved to both of them, jumping up and
down.

Chris
raised a brow. How do you feel about them breaking up?

Tabitha
put her hands on her face. I was so shocked! Like, how could you
guys break up? Its so wrong. So wrong! She then ran up to
Duncan and hugged him, while Duncan looked at her uneasily. He mouth
the words help me at the camera, and security came and tugged
her off.

I
love you Duncan! I love you too Courtney! Tabitha squirmed in
their grasp. Can I hug her too?

Duncan
brushed off his shirt, shuddering from his hug with Tabitha. Were
there other people like that who were obsessed with them?

Okay
Chris rolled his eyes, We have time for one more comment!

The
light went around again, this time landing on a guy with blonde hair.
He walked up to the stage with a large smile on his face.

Chris
was happy that this guy looked sane. Whats your name man?

Alex.
He grinned, looking at Courtney.

And
how do you feel about Duncan and Courtneys break up?

He
nodded his head. Well, Courtneys hot, and I mean, the less she
hangs out with Duncan, the more time I can spend stalking her.

Everyone
gasped. What? asked Courtney, her eyes wide.

Alex
nodded excitedly. Yup! Go to for more
information! (a/n: I checked if it was real. Its not :P) He ran
up to Courtney, hugging her happily. SECURITY! Courtney
screamed.

Chris
darted his eyes. Well be back after the break!

***

The
show continued, showing Alex being carted off in a straight jacket.

Chris
laughed. I think thats it for audience comments! He gestured
to the ex-campers. Its time for the game!

Get
ready to lose! shouted Derek!

You
dont know a thing about her! Duncan growled.

Okay,
said Chris, happy and enjoying this way more than he should be.
Start it Courtney!

The
mocha haired teen sat there, quite annoyed. She put her arms in a
cross, shaking her head at the host. Chris grimaced, wondering why
they couldnt have brought Bridgette or Gwen- heck, even Heather on
the show! Why did they bring this uptight asshole that had to let
everything be handled by her lawyer?

Get
it over with Princess! shouted the green haired boy separated from
Courtney with a thin veil of cloth.

Oh
yeah, he
thought, thats
why.

Courtney,
who fumed quietly at the delinquents voice, picked up the card.
Whats my favorite food?

Derek
slammed down on the button. Pineapples? He piped out
innocently, looking into the camera.

Courtney
smiled. Thats right.

Duncan
rolled his eyes. He couldnt even believe this guy.

Picking
up the next card, the C.I.T. looked to Chris. He shrugged, and
mouthed the words just read it. Sighing, she read the card.
Whats my favorite type of lotion- the one I put on my hands
almost every 3 hours? No
real personal information my ass.

Duncan
slammed the buzzer, and then looked dumbfounded. Um itsthat
one lotion brand?

BEEEEEP!

Duncan
held his head down in shame. He couldnt believe this!

Suddenly,
another buzzer went off.

Is
it Burts Bees Moisturizer? said Derek, smirking.

He
shouldnt be smirking! Thats my smirk!

Correct!

***

Duncan
rubbed his temples, not believing this. The score was 17 to 5! FIVE!
He was pathetic.

This
is the last question, and then our lovely C.I.T. gets to choose who
gets her heart, and who gets da boot! said Chris cheerily. He just
couldnt stop giggling.

Courtney
picked up the last card. Who is my favorite singer?

Duncans
hand was on the button, but it was too late.

Is
it Mariah Carry?

Thats-

You
dont even know why, you asshole!

Everyone
gasped in the audience, turning to the pierced teen for a rebuttal.
He looked so mad. All those question you answered, you dont
know the reasons behind them at all, do you?

What
are you talking about? said Derek, eyes sharp.

Courtney
peeked from behind the curtain. Dont make a scene, Duncan.

She
saw Duncans eyes get steely and watched as he cracked his
knuckles.

Oh
man, she
thought, hes
gonna make a scene, isnt he?

Do
you know why she likes pineapples? Its because she used to pack
the fruit cup everyday during her first year at school, and it made
her feel better. He shouted out everything in Dereks stupid
face. His fist was dangerously close to his nose, so Derek didnt
try to tick him off by telling him to shut up. She likes to watch
Jackass sometimes because its funny, but she always stops in the
middle and starts watching something more subtle. She always uses
Colgate toothpaste, never Crest, because she thinks the word Crest
rolls off her tongue wrong.

Dereks
eyes shot daggers at him. He didnt want for him to say any of
this.

And
she likes Mariah Carry only because her sister used to drive her in
her car when she was six and they would listen to Hero all the
time. It was her favorite! Duncan fumed once more, as he pulled
Derek up by the collar. You dont know anything about my
Princess!

Everyone
was quiet. Duncan was still breathing hard; Derek was still looking
at him angrily. And then, a browned haired teen jumped out and
grabbed the green haired kid in a hug. Awe, Duncan! I love you
too!

The
audience started whooping and clapping. They paid good money to see
this! And it most definitely didnt go to waste! Tabitha whooped
and started the wave. Alexs muffled voice was crying as he saw
Courtney kiss Duncan and not him.

Derek
watched as they both kissed, yelling What the hell? He ran up,
trying to tear them apart, and he was then surprised when Courtney
kicked him where the sun dont shine.

Chris
stepped in front of the camera. Join us next week, and watch as
Gwen and Courtney battle it out!

Courtney
glared at him, and then punched Duncan in the stomach. Duncan feel
over, looking at Chris.

Kidding!
Chris laughed, but ran as Courtney began chasing him too.

I
want my lawyer!

I
want one too! shouted Duncan, wheezing in pain.

The
camera focused on Chris, who was still being chased by Courtney. So
do I!

***

That
was a long one-shot.

R&R!